All my life, I have never really been an anxious person. Of course, I have been anxious – but it has never consumed my life or appeared to be obvious.
Until I became a mum.
Suddenly, I started to experience a whole new level of anxiety and fear over every little thing. I didn’t know what was happening. All these heart palpitations, cold sweat, irritability and this sick feeling in my stomach. Is the baby breathing? Why is baby not sleeping? Why is baby crying? Is is too warm? Is baby going to roll over and suffocate? Goodness, it was hell. I thought I was having a heart attack. I couldn’t concentrate. I couldn’t drive without freaking out about getting into a road accident.
The happy, optimistic person I once was became someone I didn’t recognise. I didn’t fancy this person I was turning into. In fact, I was angry with her. She is NOT ME.
Who am I going to relate this problem to? Will my husband understand? He probably thinks I am exhausted.
I did not want to appear weak. And… I started to resent motherhood. This is NOT ME. That’s what I kept telling myself. I started to miss my old life – or what I could become if not for this.
And yes, everyone gives you a big pat on the back and say, “You’re doing a great job, mummy”. Am I? I do not know, truly.
But, I do know that I am not alone in this. There are other mums who are going through the same thing. As new mums, we sometimes overlook our mental health – on top of our physical health. It takes awhile for our mind and body to recalibrate and recover from this wonderful experience called MOTHERHOOD.
Well, that was a year ago.
Today, I have been managing my anxiety issues with meditation and practicing yoga. AND, I love being a mum now. I wouldn’t trade this for the world. This is also one of the key reasons I started the “Mummy & Baby Yoga“ class for mums because I know how hard it is to get on the mat with a baby or toddler in tow. Plus, it was a great incentive for me to start teaching again.
You have very little time for self-care as a new mum. The point is you need to recognise these symptoms and talk to someone – preferably, a mum. Otherwise, take time for yourself – do the things you love (i.e. cook, binge watch Downton Abbey, run etc.) because your baby will appreciate a happy mum.
So mummies, be happy and take care of yourself.